Journey Into Wholeness
“The best way out is always through” – Robert Frost
When I was a music therapy intern, I visited a middle school to work with bereaved children once a week. One day I overheard a teacher say to a girl whose mother died of cancer a few weeks before, “You need to stop crying, okay? You need to get over it. Because if you don’t, your mom will be sad.”
I’m sure that the teacher wanted to help the girl, but her attempt failed. The girl needed to cry in order to process her feelings of loss and get through the difficult time. We sometimes tell people to get over grief, because we are uncomfortable being with their pain.
Grief is not something we can “get over,” but it’s something we “get through.” No matter how many years have passed since the death of our beloved, grief is always just under the surface, ready to strike us at any time. The pain and sadness may decrease overtime, but grief will always be there whether we acknowledge it or not.
There is no shortcut for grief. We can only get through it, taking each day at a time. Then one day we’ll see a light at the end of the tunnel. As Robert Frost said, “The best way out is always through.”